Aloha,Turkeys!

I hope you had a FABULOUS Thanksgiving yesterday!

Did you have PIE?

(I made one that DID NOT SUCK! Yay, me!)


I have a PLAN to hit the stores for some black Friday shopping later today.

I am NOT one of those 4 am crazies...although I am not above it. If there was something I really wanted, I would go out, but there never seems to be anything on my list that makes me feel the need to head to KMart in my PJs...

I do like to go out into the hustle and bustle though...for some reason it gets me in the holiday mood!

Are YOU one of the 4am crazies?

Are you doing any shopping at all today?

What are you to going to get me?
(My wish list will be furnished upon request)

This Black Friday 'DEAL' of a post was brought to you by

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WW: Butt Chub

I saw this vanity plate in the parking lot of the grocery store and I had to take a picture.

I drove home cracking myself up and thinking, "WHY would someone want 'Butt Chub' on their car???"

Then I came home and showed the picture to my husband, who assured me that the plate does NOT say Butt Chub...it says Butch B!

Oh.

Now that makes way more sense, doesn't it?

(My way is funnier though.)

Angie has invited you all over for pie tomorrow.

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Taking Casual to Another Level

So I was perusing the pile of holiday catalogs that the mailman brings me each day when I saw something so FABULOUS I just knew I had to blog about it.

I give you...sweatpants that look like jeans!

Is that not the most terrific thing you've EVER seen?

I mean....they are SWEATPANTS....that look like JEANS!


Have you ever seen a more perfects pair of pants?


Imagine how jealous the other Walmart shoppers would be when they saw you pushing your squeaky cart and yelling at your dirty kids while wearing those bad boys...

And I think you might be able to wear them on Casual Friday at work!


You should put them on your holiday wish list.


You're welcome for the awesome idea.

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Turns Out Werewolves are Kinda Hot

After seeing New Moon Friday night, I have only one thing to say...

Well Hellooooooooo Jacob Black...

Of course the problem with Jacob is that he is a honest to goodness teenager and I am old have a bit more life experience.


So in spite of those abs (WOW), and due to the fact that I am not a dirty old lady, I must remain firmly planted on Team Edward.

My having a crush on Edward is also not appropriate (just ask my husband), BUT it is perfectly legal.

Plus when it comes down to it, I like my men moody, skinny, and pale (just ask my husband).

PS...New Moon was way better than Twilight.

PPS...I can't wait for Eclipse.

PPPS...Rob Pattinson is invited to my mom's for Thanksgiving dinner. Do you think he'll come?

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Aloha, Twi-Hards!

NEW MOON!


Do you care?

Are you going?

Team Edward or Team Jacob?


My heart is all aflutter! I can't wait to see the movie tonight!

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Dear Diary (Writer's Workshop)

Dear Diary,

Today was like the worst day of my whole life and I am NEVER GOING BACK TO SCHOOL, like EVER.

AMY ROCHE told everyone that I like Stanley! She was all, "Hey! Jenni likes Stanley!" And I was all, "No I don't!" And she was all, "Yes she does! She wrote 'I Love Stanley' on her notebook!" And then she grabbed my notebook out my hands and tried to show everyone!

So I kicked her, grabbed my notebook, and ran away. And Amy was all, "See? I told you all she looooooves him!"

I hate that bitch AMY ROCHE. She is mean, her Swatch watch is ugly, she doesn't peg her pants right, and her slouchy socks and scrunchy NEVER match. What a loser!

So now I can't ever go back to school because everyone knows I like Stanley. I am going to tell my mother to get me transferred to another school because if she tries to make me go back there again I will DIE. I will! I will DIE of humiliation! Does my mother really want that on her conscience? I don't think she does...

And I am not ever sure if I REALLY even like Stanley anyway! Sometimes I don't like how he does his hair, and he is always wearing that same green sweatshirt!

I think later I am going to call AMY ROCHE's house and hang up 6 or 7 times.

And then I am going to call Sally, and ask her to call Stanley and find out if he heard that I like him, and then ask him if he likes me back.

From the depths of despair,

Jenni

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

GUESS WHAT?!

Sally called Stanley and asked him if he liked me. And he said YES!! Sally was all, "Do you like like her, or do you just like her?" And he said he like likes me! I can't wait to go to school tomorrow! Do you think Stanley will let me wear his green sweatshirt?????

I love Stanley forever,

Jenni


*This fabrication of my 13 year old self may or my not be based on actual life events. Names have been changed to protect that bitch AMY ROCHE. This post brought to you by Mama Kat's weekly writing prompt.


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WW: The Good, The Bad, and the "Creative"

The GOOD:

New Pendant lighting over the breakfast bar.

YAY!



The BAD:

My NEW black socks, which have come out of the dryer speckled, linty, and generally crappy looking.

Are these even salvageable?

The "Creative":

Jack's Family Turkey project.

Also known as: What happens when you leave 2 boys and their dad in charge of an arts and crafts project.

In case you are wondering the turkey is covered in:

feathers, flowers, Lucky Charms, and pink PEZ.

Because when I think of a Thanksgiving Turkey... pink PEZ is what comes to mind.

Angie's Family Turkey would be much better than Jack's.

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Get Your RANDOM here!

I am in a moooooood today. Beware.

I painted my nails a taupey color called coffee break and whenever I have to stop myself from licking them. I stop myself from licking them because it would be weird, and also because I know where my hands have been. Hey. I teach elementary school. Those places are crawling with strep and swine and various other horrible pathogens. Kids are gross. Just kidding. Sort of.


SPEAKING of horrible pathogens...I think I am getting a cold. I feel a bit phlegmish...which is not to be confused with Flemish. I think if I were feeling Flemish I would have the urge to wear wooden shoes and stand next to a windmill. What I feel is phlegmish ... which is just icky. And I hate having a cough so I am hoping one doesn't develop.


And speaking of coughs...I have tried to tell the children in my class that coughing is not allowed at school. I may also try to ban smiling and making direct eye contact with me. I will keep you posted on how that all goes.


Before I go...did you hear that New Moon opens this Friday? Do you hear that my husband got me tickets? Do you think I should bring my Edward doll, and my box of Edward Sweet Tarts?


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Mooning

Who is more excited than me?

NOBODY.

I will be in that theater on Friday evening after work.

Will I have on my New Moon t-shirt?

Oh yes, I will.

Will I swoon repeatedly during the film?

Most assuredly.

Will I owe my darling husband BIG TIME for accompanying me and being surrounded by throngs of teenage girls and cougars?

Absolutely!

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Aloha, Whoopsie!

Have you ever gotten into a bit of trouble for something you posted on your blog?

A story you told?

A secret you spilled?

A picture that should have remained unposted?


I ask because my post yesterday (scroll down) may or may NOT have gotten a certain husband all kinds of torqued.

He may or may NOT have accused me of making him look like a "douchebag"....

Whoops.

But it was posted with loooooove and humor, and zero intentions of douchebaggery!

So tell me...

Have that ever happened to you?

What was the post about?

Did you giggle when you read the word "douchebag"?
(That word always cracks me up)

Do you think if I posted about how awesome and MANLY he is for installing the new pendant lights, dimmer switch, and pantry light that he will forgive me???

Kailani's blog is drama-free!

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Doug's Story (Writer's Workshop)

Picture It...

My brother and I are on an overnight hike in the White Mountains...

It is cold and rainy and dark, and we had gone each gone to our respective tents to get some sleep.

I put my iPod on to watch a movie for a bit. I don't remember which one but I can be fairly certain that there was shooting and boobs in it because those are my favorite kind.


Anyway...

When the movie was over I shut my iPod off and I laid down to catch some Zs.

Suddenly, I heard this low growling outside my tent...

It sounded really CLOSE by.

Too Close.

I sat quietly and hoped the growling would stop, but it persisted.

I took out my pocket knife and crept carefully toward the opening of my tent.


I wasn't sure what the hell I was going to do with my little dinky pocket knife, but damn it, I was going to go out there and DEFEND MY CAMP.

The growling seemed to be getting louder...

It sounded WILD and FIERCE.

I unzipped my the tent and cautiously looked around to confront the beast.

I couldn't see anything!


Gripping my knife, I began to survey the area...

The growling appeared to be coming from my brother's tent!


For a moment I thought,

OH MY GOD! THE BEAR HAS GOT STEVE!

But then I realized...

Geez! My brother snores like a wild animal!


This story brought to you by Mama Kat's Writing Prompt:





2.) Tell a friend or family members story as if it happened to you.

(I have neither a brother nor the desire to ever go on an overnight hike)

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WW: Love a Veteran

My Nana did...

Isn't that a sweet picture? I may have posted it a long time ago just after she died...

My grandparents were dating when he went away to fight in WWII. He sent her a picture of himself in his uniform with a love note on the back, and this is the picture she sent back to him.

(Are her shoes cute, or what?)

Both of my grandfathers were veterans of WWII, and my dad is a veteran of the Vietnam War.

Thank a Veteran today for their service (and for the day off! Woot Woot!)


And apropos of nothing, today is the 15th anniversary of the first date for Doug and I.
Think he'll remember that prior to reading this?

Angie would rock some saddle shoes.

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RTT: Holidaze

Suddenly there are Christmas commercials all over my television...and every time I see one I have a mild panic attack and want to get under my bed. How is it that time of year already? Didn't we just have Christmas?

Speaking of Christmas...do you think my 4th grader really believes in Santa, or is he just humoring me at this point. Be honest with me...I can take it. LIE TO ME.

In other holiday randomness...Do you have any fun Veteran's Day plans? Are you hitting up any patriotic parades or anything? My plans are to stay in my pajamas all day...which is not very patriotic but IS very American, in my opinion.

Finally, in random holiday news, my Keurig coffeemaker is behaving badly. I am not sure what the problem is, but I do know that the process of using it to make my coffee in the morning is slowly becoming more and more annoying. Do you know how to ruin a coffee addict's morning? Make her use a malfunctioning coffeemaker.

And in case you aren't catching my hint here, I need a new Keurig for Christmas.

I can't wait to see what Keely gets me for Christmas.

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Sing It, Sister

In the shower and in the car, I am quite a star performer.

I belt out a song with pure abandon.

And in my head...it sounds amazing.


However I know that in reality, I pretty much suck.

I wouldn't go so far as to say I am tone deaf,

But I am definitely tone-hard-of-hearing.


So you can imagine my dilemma when I picked up my class from their music class last week and the music teacher presented a challenge to me...

She told me that if I would be willing to sing "My Country 'Tis Of Thee" in front of the class, my children would earn another sticker for their chart.

Of course, I WANTED to say "Hell no" and then run out the door...

But the kids were all looking at me with such anticipation and with such pleading in their eyes that I had to say yes.


I took my spot at the front of the room...

I took a deep breath...

And I BELTED that bad boy out.

I was really working it at the end, too.


Froooom eveeeery mooooountain side! Leeeeet freeeeeeedoooooom riiiiiiiing!

The children applauded wildly.

I bowed grandly.

They earned their sticker!

And I earned the pity respect of the music teacher.


I am thinking she'll not be asking me to sing EVER again...

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Aloha, Odor Eaters!

I have a student in my class this year who has shoes that SMELL.

It's a VERY unpleasant odor...

Like, "What on earth died in here?" bad.


I am not sure what to do besides open a window and Lysol the begeezus out of the place as often as possible.

What I'd like to do is steal those shoes and BURN them...


Aloha Questions For You:

Have you ever smelled the smell of some really RANK shoes?

Do you have any smelly shoe remedies?

Should I invest in some nose plugs?

Anyone want to take bets on how long I can hold out before I send this kid to do his work out in the hallway? Because, day-um.


Kailani's feet smell like candy and roses.

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