More About My Feet (You're WELCOME!)

So yesterday I showed you the pretty side of my feet! If you missed it, scroll down!

Go ahead...I'll wait.

You ready? Okay!


Well, I have to confess today that there is another not-so-pretty side to my feet.

There is a seedy, dark underbelly...

(Yes, I said my feet have an underbelly! Just work with me here...)


You see, I have a CORN on the bottom of my big toe.


Yes, I said a CORN.

No, I am not 85.


I didn't take a photograph of my jacked up old lady toe, but you can see my artistic renderings below.

It's a little souvenir I brought home from Disney World.

And it hurts.

It is pretty much like walking around with a rock in my shoe ALL the time.


I keep hoping that if I complain about it enough that it will just go away on its own, but it doesn't seem to be working...


I guess I am going to have to suck it up and head to the Decrepit Feet section of the drugstore to pick up some Dr. Scholl's Old Lady Toe Poultice.


Ahhh...to have the feet butt, boobs, hips, and memory of a twenty-something again...

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Tiffany Blue Toesies

My latest obsession is nail polish and I have a new favorite color in the world for my toes.

For Audrey By China Glaze



I don't think I am brave enough to wear it on my tips, but I might give it a try to see what I think!


I have purchased something in the neighborhood ¹ of 15 polishes in the last week or so and I painted my fingernails a different color every day for the past 3 days.


If you are looking for me, I am either obsessively looking at pictures of nails and reading polish recommendations at makeupalley.com ² , or I have actually succumbed to the nail polish remover fumes.

1. I refuse the divulge the exact number due to the fact that it may incriminate me. Hi, honey.

2. If you start clicking around there, don't blame me when you start wanting 100s of dollars worth of stuff. Those girls know their products.

And that is all I have for you today, because like a big sucker, I have to go to WORK to do some science curriculum development. Bah.

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Aloha, Michael Jackson

So along with every other blog on the interweb, I am going to blog about the death of Michael Jackson today.

Yes, I am.

And I admit it. I am sad that he died. I was a big fan of his back in the day, and I still love his music.

Would I let him babysit? Hell, no.

Will I teach my kids to moonwalk and do the Thriller zombie dance? ABSOLUTELY! That's good stuff, right there...

Even though he turned out to be a tragic, weird, bizarre man in the end...the man did know how to make me feel like dancing...


Here are my Aloha, MJ Questions for you!

1. Michael Jackson's death...do you care?

2. What's you favorite Michael Jackson tune?

3. Who's Bad?

4. Do you think he gets his old nose back in the afterlife, or is he stuck with that weird new one for all eternity?


Kailani is a P.Y. T.

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Open Letter Day!

Open Letter: a published letter of protest or appeal usually addressed to an individual but intended for the general public (from Merriam-Webster)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

An Open Letter can be addressed to anyone or anything!

It can be a rant or a rave,

a compliment or complaint,

serious or silly!


Want to pay tribute to your Dear Granny?

Write her an Open Letter!


Want to request that you children stop bickering?


An Open Letter to the kids is in order!

Want to tell your washing machine to stop making that damn noise?


Nothing but an Open Letter will do!



So here's what you do...

Write an Open Letter on your blog, and include a link to Jiggety Jigg (you can grab my button)!

Then come back here, sign the Mr. Linky Widget, and visit the other bloggers who are playing along!


**This is only the second week of this, so if you play along and help me spread the word, I will be VERY appreciative...if you know what I mean.
(I'll owe you a huggie!)

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WW: Oh yeah, baby...

Today is the last day of schoooooooooooool!

I am so happy, I actually don't have many words!

I have squeals of delight, delirious giggles, and the contented sighs of a job well-done...

but not many words.

So I leave you with this...

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Let the summer lazing BEGIN!

Hey! Tomorrow is Open Letter Day here at Jiggety Jigg!

If you want to join in the fun, compose an Open Letter of your own, post it on your blog, and then come here and sign my Mr. Linky!

It is easy! It is fun! And it is FREE, which makes it a bargain at twice the price!

What can I do to get you to drive off this blog in a shiny new Open Letter meme today???

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Random Ways Blogger Is Trying to Kill Me (On A Tuesday!)

Just in the last week:

1. Blogger's Follow Me widget kept crashing my page.

2. Blogger stopped letting me schedule my posts.

3. Blogger stopped redirecting my feed so that 75% of the people who wanted to read my blog couldn't find it. This also caused a 3oo reader DROP on my feedburner subscribers.

This went on for 5 days, and made me want to slam things, say bad words, and double up on my meds.

Just when I was ready to STORM the Google building, take some techie hostages, and demand that my blog feeds be restored to all if it's rightful glory, it got fixed.

Sure, everything seems okay now!

But next week:

1. Blogger will probably delete every other word I type.

2. Blogger will likely start a nasty rumor about me and post it all over Facebook and Twitter.

3. Blogger will surely break into my house, kidnap my dogs, eat all of my secret Girl Scout Cookie stash, and PEE on my bed.

Keely has Blogger, too. Feel her pain.

(Seriously? Can you read this? If you can, leave a comment even if you just say hello or type a freaking semi-colon, because if this blog falls apart I am seriously considering canceling the internet and living the life of a...um...very SAD person with no internet. okthxbye)

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Star Face

Have you ever gone to get a tattoo, fallen asleep, and woken up with stars tattooed all over your face?

Yeah, she hasn't either.

But that is the story she is trying to tell.

Now I have never had a tattoo because in addition to being a gigantic baby, I am also indecisive and cheap, and you really can't be any of those things if you want to have a licensed professional stab permenant ink into your body.

But even though I have never been inked, I pretty sure you generally don't SLEEP through the procedure.

And I am CERTAIN that if someone was jamming needles into my FACE, it would not exactly be nappy time...

Anyway, I am thinking she should just GO with it. It's not thaaaaaaaat bad, right?

Add some color...a few hearts...maybe some glitter...and she'll look just fine - in a circus freak kind of way.

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Aloha, New Kids On the Block!

Like Oh Em Gee, you guys!

I am going to see New Kids On the Block tonight!

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I saw them when I was in high school a whole bunch of times and I screamed, cried, and generally acted like a hysterical, lovesick, teenage girl.

I fully intend to reenact those days tonight! Me, and a few thousand other thirty-somethings who still remember writing I Love Joey McIntryre all over their notebooks in school.

Well, my sister was writing I Love Donnie on hers, but whatever.

Joey is SO the cutest.


My Aloha, NKOTB Questions for you are:


1. Have you been to any concerts lately, or is there one you'd like to go to?

2. Do you think Joey would like me? (Check yes or no.)

3. What was your favorite group/artist in high school?

4. Mrs. Jenni Jiggety McIntyre has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

5. Where do you stand on grown married mothers of 2 throwing their panties on stage at the concerts of former teen idols? (Please advise...)


Get more Aloha here:

(I bet Kailani thinks Joey is the cutest, too.)

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Open Letter: Dear Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

I am going to go ahead and get right to the point here because I know you are super busy with all kinds of significant natural phenomena, and I have some laundry to fold. Clearly, we are pretty much equally pressed for time. So here goes:

Are you going to be sending us some summer weather this year, or what?

I mean, today was NICE and all...but the weather report said it is going to be in the 60s and rainy for the foreseeable future. And if I might direct your attention to the calendar hanging in my kitchen, it is JUNE. June usually means warmth, sun, and short sleeves! What you are giving us is rain, chills, and sweatshirts. And frankly, I think it is CRAP.

I really don't mean to complain. And I don't mean to be unappreciative of the pretty rainbows and whatnot. But our summer vacation begins next week, and I think it is time for you to stop Twittering or Facebooking or whatever it is you are so preoccupied with, and get me some SUN already.

Take some pride in your work, woman!


Tired of my Damn Umbrella,


Jenni Jiggety

Want to write An Open Letter too?
It can be a complaint, a compliment, or really whatever you'd like!

Sign Mister Linky and link your Open Letter post back here!

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WW: Crap For Sale!

No! Really!

They have CRAP!

And it is FOR SALE!

And it is CHEAP!

And also steaming...

You ever have one of those days where you are driving around thinking about what to blog?

And then suddenly you see a sign advertising manure for sale COMPLETE with a drawing of a bull standing over a steaming pile of poo?

And you think to yourself, "Self! THAT is a blog post right there!" as you cut three cars off in order to pull over and take a picture of it with your cell phone?

Because it is pretty freaking awesome...



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And by the way, if you happen to need any POO, I know were you can get some CHEAP!

Please, let Jenni Jiggety be your STEAMING POO hook-up!

Tell them Jenni sent ya, and they'll make sure yours is EXTRA steamy...

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Random Stuff For A Tuuuuuesday

1. Today is day two of Dougie's forced school vacation. My mom stayed with him yesterday, but I am home with him today. We should go do something FUN and totally not school-ish to make him feel better! Maybe we'll go shoe shopping! Every nine year old boy dreams of going shoe shopping with his mom, right? Oh the Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual sale starts today, too! Shoes and panties! What a perfect day for me him!

2. Toothache status: Better than last Tuesday, but still pretty sucky. Is it crazy to try to use the power of prayer and Listerine to cure my dental woes? I am really hoping for a divine dental miracle here.

3. I am not really going to take my son to the mall today, in case you were wondering. I may however get us some ice cream cones and go stand outside the elementary school so he can point and laugh at all the suckers in class.

4. Okay, I am not really going to do that either. But I SHOULD.

5. I got sucked into looking at puppies on petfinder.com again. Some people get baby fever, I get puppy fever. And on petfinder they will tell you these super sad things about how the puppy was found in a dumpster or was abandoned on the side of a deserted road in the middle of the night...and I read these stories and I am telling you, I am just a few clicks away from becoming a crazy cat lady, except with dogs. (Because cats, as you may recall, are evil.)

6. I tried to tell my husband he wants a puppy for Father's Day, but he said he really doesn't.

7. He also said he doesn't want the hammock that I totally could picture myself reading in all summer long.

8. Have you ever noticed that some Fathers people don't know how to just graciously accept a gift that wouldn't really be for them would make his wife so happy to give? Hmph.

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Quarantined!

Beware the House Of Jiggety!

There is a child in there and he has...

a COLD!

::::insert collective gasps here::::


Yes, I am afraid it is true. Douglas has a cold, and was running a slight temperature at school on Friday.

They called me to come pick him up and when I arrived, Nurse Ratched informed me due to new CDC regulations, Douglas is not allowed to return to school until the 18th.

Uh, overreact much, CDC?

So even though Douglas is JUST FINE now, he will be spending the next three days kicking around the house, missing his BIG end of the year field trip to Fenway Park, and going on the occasional rant about how it isn't FAIR and how that rule is STUPID...

And I will be ranting about that, too.

Now if anyone needs me, I will be busy typing up sub plans for Tuesday, and trying to finagle Dougie into MY school on Wednesday.

Note to Jack: Stay Out of Nurse Ratched's office!

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Aloha Goonch Day!

My husband was watching some horrible show about gigantic freshwater fish that eat people last night. The name of the show is Flesh Eating River Monsters.

Basically, there is a freaky huge catfish called The Goonch that lives in rivers and eats people in India BECAUSE they burn their dead people on funeral pyres and then float them on down the river.

The Goonch EAT the remains of the people and now these fish pretty much think:

people = food

I am so totally creeped out by this whole thing, I can't even tell you...

But I can assure you there WILL be some nightmares.

Oh! Here is a delightful picture of The Goonch for you, because why should I be the only one to suffer?

Holy CRAP, right?

So my Aloha Goonch Day Questions for you this week are:

Did you KNOW about this? That there are fish that live in fresh water that will EAT you?

What are the odds that I am NOT going to think of The Goonch every time I swim in fresh water for all the rest of my days on earth?

Doesn't The Goonch sort of sound like the nickname for the guy in highschool who can burp the alphabet and fart on command?

And!

Do you think maybe the people in India should consider NOT floating barbequed dead people down the river anymore?

For more Aloha and less scary fish....

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Dear AT&T

Dear AT&T,

I was so very excited to hear about the launching on the new iPhone 3G S! In fact as soon as I heard about it, I started the full-scale launch of Operation: Get Jenni the New iPhone.

(This operation consisted of top secret husband-convincing tactics that I cannot reveal here, but I can assure you they are quite effective and so subtle my darling husband hardly even knows he's being brow-beaten!)

Anyway, imagine my extreme disappointment when I learned at your website today that I am not eligible for the upgrade until December, and if I want to upgrade now I have to pay an extra $200.

Two hundred dollars? Really? I understand a contract is a contract, but it's not like I promised you a kidney or something. $200 bucks is a pretty steep penalty for someone who wants to continue being a customer.

Plus, do you know how many iced coffees I could buy with that? Is that what YOU would do with my money...buy iced coffees for everyone in the office and laugh at me? Jerks.

In short, all my husband-convincing tactics were for naught. And I guess I will have to wait all the way until December for my fun new iPhone 3G S.

(Unless there is a nice AT&T person out there who can pull some strings? Maybe hook a blogger up in exchange for some nice press in which she does not call you jerks? Because I could totally do that! Call me!)


Your Still Loyal but Sorta Pissed Customer,


Jenni Jiggety


ps: Doug if you are reading this and you WANTED to spend the extra 200 bucks to get me the new iPhone early, it would be like, the nicest surprise ever. I'm just saying.

pps: Can't blame a girl for trying.

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