Dear Dr. Evil DDS,
Hi there. How are you on this fine Thursday? Me? I am not so great. You see, I have to come visit you today, and I am really not looking forward to it...
I don't mean to be rude, but I really don't like you. Bad things happen to me whenever I enter your office. Very bad things!
You say frightening things to me! You say things like root canal, extraction, gum graft, implant, and failed procedure.
You poke at my sorest spots.
You make me bite down on those cardboard x-rays that hurt like hell and make me gag.
You never give me enough Novocaine, even though I remind you EVERY time that I NEVER get numb with the average amount.
And the drilling. MY GOD, the drilling! :::::shudder::::
The entire experience is always very traumatic for me. My eyes are squeezed shut. My fists are clenched. My fingernails are digging into my palms. My heart pounds...
And then at the end of my visit with you...when I am emotionally drained, puffy-cheeked, sore, and ready to run like a hostage who has just been released...
You charge me 800 dollars, and tell me I have to come back in a week.
Is it really any wonder I don't enjoy visiting you?
Yours in Straight-Up Dentophobia,
Jenni Jiggety
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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31 comments:
Good grief. I think I'd be considering dentures if I had to endure all of that. I've borne three kids, but I don't think I could take all that you have enumerated here.
I've been spending wat too much time at my evil dentist's--I hate it to my core!!
I really only go when my tooth starts to hurt. Sad.
Dentists scare me.....I would rather do just about anything. But now I have a younger dentist who gives me a script for Valium....lots and lots of valium to take before my visit. It doesnt make it a good experience, but a much more tolerable one.
Ask for Valium.....really.
Ah! The aforementioned dental woes! We share more than a few of them! I left the office Monday practically in tears - not of pain (I'd just done impressions - uncomfortable and messy, but not painful) - but of anticipation. Oh, and yeah, the money. So.Much.Money.
Dentist - BAD! I need about triple the amount of novocaine to get through ANY procedure. Dentists give me nightmares! Good luck on your visit!
Ouch!
I am going to think of a letter and try to write it later. My day should provide some good fodder. We will see.
yuck! I dont like the dentist either! Ok... even though I am on vaca... I am off to write my letter!
yuck! I dont like the dentist either! Ok... even though I am on vaca... I am off to write my letter!
Add my signature to this letter! I am 100% behind you. Not only the pain and the fear, but then having to PAY hundreds of dollars to experience it! Good GoD!
This is SO true! I think the paying part is as painful as the procedures!
sounds like a good time...
Oh I have to go to the dentist today also. How yucky.
Good luck. I will be thinking of you.
Cynthia
I seriously could have written this post myself, word for word - except I'm still avoiding the dentist - which I will pay for later, I'm sure - both literally and figuratively... :/ Good luck!
Jenni, I have Dentist issues too! A couple of shots of Novocaine don't work for me.
My latest experience was lovely (as in "Ann, get someone else to drive you because we're giving you some 'Happy Pills'.) Oh yeah baby! Now THAT was a good Dentist visit.
I wish I could do that every time.
OMG!!! What is that aparatus on her mouth anyway??? Please don't say braces LOL. Hope you're doing better.
"You make me bite down on those cardboard x-rays that hurt like hell and make me gag."
That right there is one of the reasons I HATE visiting the dentist. Well that and the pic you posted gives me the squirms. Barbaric! Yep, that's my dentist.
Mine is up! And I must say it's my best piece of work. Although I may lose a "butt" load of follower due to my humor...
I wholeheartedly recommend finding one of those dentists that will knock you out for procedures. My BFF's dentist knocks her out, even for cleanings. She LOVES it.
Us Jen's have to support one another! Hope you enjoy my contribution. Loves!
And this is why I stay away and just drink. A lot.
Hope your day goes well.
But I bet he gives you pain killers. Almost worth the trip.
Oh gawd, the dentist is the WORST! I had a tooth pulled a few months ago and it was like medieval torture! I feel your pain, literally!
OK, so I finally read your post (I know, sorry, it's been a busy day!) and, seriously, find a new dentist! If he doesn't believe your pain, giving you the average dose and whatnot, then you need to find somebody who does!
have fun with the pain killers;)
I have a serious aversion to the dentist office, too...and apparently the Princess Nagger has picked up on that as well as evidenced by her screaming and wailing when they tried to just clean her teeth last time. August 17th is going to be a fun day. ;)
Yeah I am excited I got my letter up. I guess better late than never. :)
The older I get, the more I don't like visiting the dentist. I think it adds insult to injury that they only went to 3 or 4 years of post graduate school AND then they work only 4 days a week, 10-4, and still make a boatload of money. From my pain.
And yet, when I look at the truly primitive dental tools ... I am just a tinsie bit grateful. :)
Loved it... my blog was just a random rant I was having with my kids then saw this post and turned it into a letter to my children... thank you for allowing my to blow off steam!
Oh my sister in dental dilema.....
I feel your pain :(
As usual, this is hilarious!! Though the photo is going to give me nightmares.
And -- as I predicted -- I totally forgot about open letter day.
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