Dear Dr. Evil DDS,
Hi there. How are you on this fine Thursday? Me? I am not so great. You see, I have to come visit you today, and I am really not looking forward to it...
I don't mean to be rude, but I really don't like you. Bad things happen to me whenever I enter your office.
Very bad things!
You say frightening things to me! You say things like root canal, extraction, gum graft, implant, and
failed procedure.
You poke at my sorest spots.
You make me bite down on those cardboard x-rays that hurt like hell and make me gag.
You never give me enough Novocaine, even though I remind you EVERY time that I NEVER get numb with the average amount.
And the drilling. MY GOD, the drilling! :::::shudder::::
The entire experience is always very traumatic for me. My eyes are squeezed shut. My fists are clenched. My fingernails are digging into my palms. My heart pounds...
And then at the end of my visit with you...when I am emotionally drained, puffy-cheeked, sore, and ready to run like a hostage who has just been released...
You charge me 800 dollars, and tell me I have to
come back in a week.
Is it really any wonder I don't enjoy visiting you?
Yours in
Straight-Up Dentophobia,
Jenni Jiggety
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